I'm A Slut

Naughty things don't make me shy or ashamed, I love sex. Being raised catholic and later a baptist, sadly this was not always the case. Sex and sexual issues were something the teens in my youth group always knew existed but didn't dare talk about openly. There were a few occasions were we'd talk about how hard the boys at school would try and get with us, as if the crowning achievement of their adolescence was convincing a "Purity Girl" to be a teenager themselves. I never made that pledge myself, didn't think it was right to make a promise to god that, if he exists, knows that I wouldn't be able to keep: THAT would be lying, and that's a "sin."

By the time I was 22 I had lost count of how many people I'd had sex with, then I gave christianity the boot altogether.

Wiccans don't have the same taboos about human sexuality that the Abrahamic religions do, which was probably the biggest turn-on (giggity) for me at that point it my life. It's been argued that Wicca and Paganism openly encourage promiscuity, and if I were any authority on the subject they might have been right. They also don't buy into the same bullshit about 'a woman's role int he home' or the traditional sexual dynamic between men and women that is openly propagated by most curch doctrines, catholicism especially.

The majority of my relatives are what I've come to call Long Island Catholics. This is a very distinct 'breed' that lament their faith and it's burdens in familiar company, but don't you dare question it. If you've ever been to West Babylon NY, you can't throw a rock without hitting a catholic church or anything that belongs to the local diocese. This is where my parents grew up: My Dad is originally from Brooklyn and my Mom is from somewhere in the general vicinity of Queens (she sure has the accent, but she'll never admit it.)

This part of Long Island is catholic-ville USA, I've travelled to other parts of the US over the years and I have never seen a large community more tightly rooted into catholic dogma and doctrine than this particular part of the Empire State. Catholicism isn't just their religion, it's every facet of their lives: Where they go to eat, what they wear and even where they work were all 'advised' by local parishes and fellow congregants. This is they way they do things because that's what everyone in their realm has always done and people who don't follow suit aren't shunned, just looked down on with scorn and criticism.

"Because that's how it's always been done" is no longer an acceptable excuse for anything in this day and age.

The first time I had sex, I was 16 and it was with another girl. Put away your tissues, happy-pants, that's not what this is about. I was terrified at first that god was actually watching me the whole time, then I eventually figured that if he was really so against this kind of thing he'd have genetically engineered me with some sort of feature that made gay sex impossible. Even as a young born-again I couldn't wrap my head around why they hated gays so damn much: If they really are sinners, just like me and the other youth-group girls who dropped-trou from time to time, how is that any of OUR concern?

And to this day I don't understand what's commonly called "Slut Shaming" or why it's even an issue: If you're hungry, eat. No rational person starves themselves because they're worried about what other people think, just eat responsibly and safely and enjoy life. The only reason why religious nut-bags are against contraception is because they think it will encourage their teenage kids to do what they're probably already doing anyway. To which my advice would be to get your head out of the clouds and back onto your own neck and shoulders so you can see what's actually going on with your family.

Parents these days aren't teaching their soon-to-be adults how to interact with other human beings on a responsible intimate level and this is a public safety concern, especially in terms of the importance of CONSENT.

I've talked to a lot of young women, even a few young men, who described a sexual encounter that they didn't realize for years was actually an act of rape: Doesn't matter if you said no right away or changed your mind halfway through, as soon as you say stop and they don't stop it is cold-hard-RAPE. And who could blame them? They have this idea in their heads that only certain people get raped: Cheerleaders, drunk sluts, faggots, etc... What the fuck are these kids' parents doing to their heads? If you are a parent reading this I do hope SOMETHING is sinking in, you are responsible for making sure that your 'baby' lives long enough to become a functional adult. NOT teaching them about sex and relationships is setting them up for a social and emotional train-wreck, I don't care how uncomfortable that makes you feel.

Telling your kids that their feelings for one another are icky because god doesn't want you to feel them is just plain asinine because that concept makes the assumption that you can control what your kids think and feel: You can't. But some degree of guidance about HOW they eventually decide to express those feelings is crucial, because any parent wants to have a son or daughter they can be proud of. No parent wants to openly admit that their kid is now a registered sex offender, if only someone had told him that "No Means NO..."

Ignorance is not bliss, it's death.

We Got Him, Now What?

Dzokhar Tsarnaev is in custody, his brother is dead, America is "safe" again.Don't think me ungrateful, I'm glad they caught the guy and he's alive to be put on trial, but given that I no longer reside in the New England area (I've been watching this whole debacle go down from a military base in Southern Arizona) I have to raise some potentially serious safety, legal and economic concerns about how this whole operation carried itself out.

Show me the Judge who took the time to issue a warrant to search EVERY HOUSE in Watertown MA. I want to see the warrant itself!

Technically if the cops show up at your house, even for a simple noise complaint, you don't have to let them in your home even if they ask: Without a warrant they can't come inside unless you let them in, even to "just have a look around." Cops have a job to do, it's dangerous and it really blows at times, but just because they ask doesn't mean you HAVE TO say "Yes." But before you take my word alone on this, I'm going to very strongly recommend you ask a lawyer: Laws vary greatly depending on what State (and obviously Country) you live in.

Just over 30,000 people live in Watertown. It must have taken law enforcement a very long time to search each bit of property in the city before they finally found Dzokhar. I'm willing to bet, given the circumstances, people let the cops into their homes without question. Unless they have a warrant, they can't search you nor your property without your consent. I'd like to state at this point, as this is being typed up, that I have no evidence indicating either way if there were warrants issued to search the entire town or not, but I sincerely fucking doubt it.


Boston Police were telling people not to film cops doing their jobs. Didn't they lose a major lawsuit a while back for doing this?

I'm reasonably certain that they weren't just talking about reporters here. While I find the use of closed-circuit cameras in public places Orwellian, this statement also seems to include people with smart-phones and internet access. Which as far as I understand it, because spotty and erratic as events unfolded: A lot of people seem to think that service was shut down deliberately while all this was happening, but I can find no solid evidence to support this.

When we are no longer allowed to photograph or film our own people doing bad things to each other, our rights are dead in the water. Not all cops are the good guys, and I'm not just talking about the one bored pig in Windham Maine who pulled me over with an obvious hard-on (admittedly I WAS speeding, but come on!) Cops and Soldiers answer to the same government we do, when they do wrong and get caught they need to be brought to justice just like any other criminal.

Which brings me to my next complaint about how this whole ordeal is being handled: Calls for torture. At this point, what is this really going to accomplish? There were only two suspects, both working only together, one of them is now dead. Torturing the prick isn't going to bring him to justice, it would be an act of petty and degrading revenge and a horrible abuse of power.

  Only in fucking New York, man...

Has anyone had a good long 'think' about the other ramifications of shutting down one major US city even for a single day? 

People missing work (unless you work for Dunkin Donuts, of course) and students missing class, court-dates and medical appointments suspended and cancelled, essentially a few million lives irrevocably disrupted. I'm not a business expert by any mean or measure, but I wonder how many surviving businesses these days may have lost some serious productivity or revenue from all of this... Anyone in the restaurant business can tell you how one bad day can fuck your entire operation, even Gordon Ramsay can't do anything for you at that point.

Any readers from the Boston or Watertown areas: How was YOUR day-off?  I'd love to hear about how the big shut-down impacted your life, because maybe I'm wrong about every little bit here but I don't tend to get a lot of feed-back these days.

I'm mostly shouting in thee dark, here. These are mostly just my ideas and opinions, but these things DO concern me.

MAAF Meeting(s)

There is a small group of Soldiers trying to get a MAAF chapter established on Fort Huachuca. The chaplains are fighting them tooth and nail, the post command group wants nothing the fuck to do with them and even other non-theists on posts are reluctant to sign up. I am one of those Soldiers, I'm the lowest ranking of all of them but I feel like I have to do this or I'll never live it down. Even if it crashes and burns, I have to at least try.

MAAF stands for Military Association of Atheists and Freethinkers, so far as I have been able to gather their main goal is social support and recognition for military personnel who don't drink kool-aid. The American military is already VERY heavily christianized, to the point that many commanders have been known to allow religious indoctrination to influence their decision-making and for some reason no-one sees a problem with this but us.

I myself have been publicly called out as a "sinner" by squad-mates and supervisors, especially while I was deployed: They didn't realize that I can throw rocks, too.

I recently took a small verbal picking for the Scarlet Letter patch that I wear under the tab of my collar: AR 670-1 is the Army Regulation specifically dictating how our uniforms are to be worn, there is a clearly outlined portion stating how items of a religious (or non-religious in my case) nature are permitted to be worn with any Army uniform: An embroidered patch fastened to the underside of the collar with a cross or even a pentagram/pentacle is a very common and popular choice among Soldiers, and it's perfectly within the rules. That having been said, so is my Red-Letter-A by those very same rules.

Too often, the term "Freedom of Religion" is used in a context that implies "Freedom of MY Religion and you can stuff yours." This mindset has no place in the Armed Forces because if you're that strongly prejudiced against squad-mates or subordinates who think so differently from you then you are clearly not capable of effective decision-making in relation to keeping everyone in your team alive if the shit hits the fan: I hate to resort to an argument from personal experience, but I know this because I've been on the receiving end of it.

My dog-tags, which are an outdated concept in terms of modern-day combat scenarios, now read "ATHEIST" after having to convince the tag-machine operator that yes, that is indeed what I want them to say.

My "job" is hard enough as it is, I'd just like to spend the rest of my time here not taking shit about something so arbitrary in terms of my ability to show up for Formation sober and not cause trouble. Everyone wants to "Support Our Troops" until it actually comes time to really do so, then some of us are left out on our asses with little or no support network. Good job, America!

There was once a catholic Soldier in my unit who tried to convince me that my effectiveness as a Soldier would always be hindered because I lacked god's divine inspiration, he proceeded to rattle off a list of books he thought I should read to engage my curiosity for the catholic faith (which died in me when I was still a child being raised in that particular belief system.) Two days later he tried to kill himself: He's still alive but no longer in the Army.

I guess god's divine inspiration STILL isn't enough to fix the Army's biggest problem.

A Comment

Being a native New-Englander, I was horrified to shivers when I saw what went down in Boston a few days ago. I'm glad that no one close to me was hurt, but I'm infuriated that innocent people were killed (to include an 8-year-old boy) during what was supposed to be a happy and fun occasion. Then there were stories of those who ran toward the carnage trying to help others who had been hurt, the rage inside shut it's snarling mouth at that point.

But now as I see other tweets and FaceBook comments popping up from across the country, it's started showing teeth again.

First there was a suspect in custody, a 20 year old student from Saudi Arabia. I admit, I too at first thought this may have been the guy who did it, but then as evidence surfaced and more reports came out it looked like that wasn't the case. I made a flash-judgement on a total stranger because of what the news had been saying, I should have known better but my brain got carried off in it anyway.

Then there were waves of ignorant tweets from the Conservative Right blaming "the Godless" for this attack, saying that this happened because we somehow managed to evict an all-knowing and all-powerful sky-daddy who is perfectly capable of protecting himself but for some reason needs his sheeple to do it for him on the internet... Gimmie a fucking break! This is NOT about you and your imaginary friend! Real people have been killed and seriously injured, let the FBI sort out the reasons and the details!

Even IF your god exists (never-mind Loki, Krishna, Ares, etc...) who the fuck are you to dictate their reasoning?

Now to address people blaming the Muslims: Go fuck yourselves with a fist full of rusty nails, seriously. At the moment I'm typing this, there is absolutely no evidence or accurate report indicating that this was pulled off by middle-eastern terrorists: I'd also like to remind everyone that the 2nd most lethal terrorist attack on US soil was orchestrated and executed by Timothy McVeigh, a born and bred American Citizen. It's happened before, it could very well have happened again.

I hope they find out who did this and lock them up in a steel box forever, in the meantime I think there are several organizations in need of assistance and donations. If anyone has any links to them, please comment with them below so I can do MY part (aside from my usual ranting.)

Were I not trapped here in Southern Arizona, I'd have hopped the train to the Fleet Center and done it in person. I guess PayPal will have to do this time.

Want vs Need: Sex

I'm hosting a small dinner party at my place tonight, I'm not expecting anyone to actually show up. The guests are both co-workers of mine, I told them they could bring their significant others' with them. I'm making a huge helping of Vegetable Curry for the main meal, I've even got one of those yuppie cutting-boards with expensive fruit and cheese on it. I picked up a 6-pack of Newcastle Brown Ale, some apple juice and I'm rearin' to go.

I have a sneaking suspicion that one of these co-workers is interested in me sexually, which I'm perfectly okay with (I just hope my husband is, too)

What? Married couples can't have sex with other people from time to time? Even with the other-half being fully aware and approving of the others choice? Psh! Fuck that! it sounds boring as shit anyway! Telling me that I can only have intimate experiences with one person for the rest of my life is akin to trying to yank a burqa over my head, I consider societal-enforced sexual ownership exactly as such.

Nope, sorry but you're on your own (well, aside from whatever human-symbiote you spend your time and attention on.) If you want to chain yourself to only one human being ever because you're too afraid of what people might say about you then that's your problem. I'm not a monogamous person and my husband is okay with this, we have something we call an "Arrangement" which consists of potential partner criteria and strict ground rules.

Swinging and Polyamory are not the same as Cheating: The only moral difference between Swinging and Cheating is Lying.

Our marriage isn't perfect, we have tiffs and spats about dumb stuff all the time just like so-called "normal" couples do. But one distinct difference in our disagreements is there's no suspicion or accusation of infidelity: We both know and have met the other's partner or interest. Make no mistake though, there is absolutely NO leaving the house late at night and meeting someone in secret at a hotel-room, nor are there any "I have to work late" days where the only 'work' being done requires a towel afterward. No secrets and no lies, there's no room for those in ANY marriage no matter how you roll.

Monogamy is not the established social norm for human relationships and there is no shortage of historical and anthropological evidence to support this. At this time I'd also like to point out that in the Bible there are many examples of prophets and leaders with multiple wives and concubines, even fucking their female slaves and relatives. I'm thoroughly aware of the fact that the Bible isn't very good evidence for anything at all, I'm just pointing out that it's in there.

Most other wives I've known would flip-shit if they caught their hubby staring at another woman, and many husbands would be endlessly anxious over the thought of their wife in close proximity to another more desirable male specimen. I don't understand this reaction: It's well established that human beings find other human beings attractive, what's the harm in just looking? Same goes for masturbating to porn, absolutely no-one is being unfaithful because you're not fucking your monitor.

At least, I hope you aren't. Did you even stop to think about the monitor's feelings, you dick?

Look, people have needs. Among those is the need for human contact of a physical level from time to time, just because you enjoy your partner's company doesn't mean that you own it. A wedding ring isn't necessarily a 'Ball n' Chain' as they used to say, it's just a symbol of an intimate agreement. If the thought of your partner screwing someone else fills you with rage I get it, but that's obviously YOUR issue and clearly not MINE. I will not be told that I "can't handle a real marriage" because I'm honest with myself and with the one human being who matters most to me in the whole world.

And anyone who says that open relationships are just an excuse to cheat is obviously missing the point: The way I see it, if you can't handle the thought of people doing things very differently from you then maybe you aren't ready to take on a relationship PERIOD (see also the above stated obvious difference between Non-Monogamy and Infidelity, it's pretty cut and dry.) Grown adults with have feelings and desires that may or may not be in line with what others around them like for themselves, as long as no one is being harmed or abused there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. There is no ONE "Special Someone" in the span of your lifetime, no one only loves once and then puts away the condoms for good. Eventually you meet someone else and pull out the Trojans again, the cycle repeats over many years.

You cannot own a PERSON, regardless of their relationship to you, therefore you cannot expect to own their FEELINGS in any capacity.

Polyamory, Swinging and other variants of Non-Monogamous relationships clearly aren't for everyone and that's okay. Were it not for legal and tax issues as they currently stand I could probably formulate an argument in favor of Polygamy, regardless of religion or lack thereof. No law-abiding grown adult is in any position to tell another law-abiding grown adult who they can love or how many of them at any given time.

In the time it took me to write up this article (with many pauses in between over the course of the night) my guests have since arrived, enjoyed their meals, watched Blazing Saddles and gone safely home. No one had sex with anyone, I wasn't expecting it to happen anyway, and I'm fine with it. I'm just glad that they enjoyed my special recipe for Vegetable Curry as well as the playful antics of my two cats.

I still think there's a possibility that one of them has a thing for me, but maybe now's just not the right time. 

  
 

"The Phone Call"

No matter where you come from, leaving always seems painful at first. Eventually it does get easier, then after a while you wonder what the fuck took you so long. I think the same can be said for those of us who also left religion behind, any religion at all (to include 'harmless and positive' ones like Wicca.)

I had the pleasure of watching a recent video on TheThinkingAtheist's channel called "The Phone Call." Basically it was a simulated conversation between a skeptical young man and his devoutly religious mother, the dynamic in that conversation was unnerving but touching. I made my response as brief and concise as I could without rambling on too much, as I tend to do. Essentially this was my first attempt at a de-conversion story.

Well, what I'm comfortable attaching my face and voice to for the time being (for legal and professional reasons.)

Enjoy ^_^

Want vs Need: Guns

I am now the proud owner of an AR-15 and two 30-round 5.56 magazines.

Scared? Angry? Confused? You have no reason to be. The AR-15 is among the most popular firearms on the market these days, thanks to a couple of wing-nuts who managed to slip through some pretty big cracks. AND I'd also like to give a fuck-you-very-much to the Tea-Partiers who practically own Sierra Vista AZ for making it damn near impossible to find ammunition these days: You're not the only one with an expensive and misunderstood hobby, you bastards.

So then why did we buy ourselves the "assault rifle" that everyone loves to hate? Because we do indeed 'need' one, even if only to complete our collection of at least one of each kind of legally available firearm in the United States. I guess this officially make John and I Gun-Nuts now, at least in the eyes of a lot of our friends. 

My first choice was actually the AK-47, which is also legal in the US, but phenomenally expensive.

One of the few things I can still have a somewhat pleasant conversation with my Republican pals about is the subject of guns. Unlike some of my fellow Liberals, the mere sight of a gun on my computer monitor doesn't make me shit my pants in fear. I despise violence, the idea of intentionally harming another human being actually makes me sick to my stomach, but that doesn't mean that I won't in certain circumstances: I have had the wonderful experience of pulling out my loaded Mossberg 500 at 0200 because I thought someone was trying to get into my home, I was extremely fortunate that as soon as s/he heard me rack it ("ch-CHK!") s/he ran away like a bitch out the driveway and down the road.

We called the cops soon after, we were told they'd sent a squad-car: They never showed up. Go Sierra Vista PD!

I'm not so afraid of someone getting into my home, if anything I'm more afraid of what I might have to do in case that happens. Even as a trained Soldier and Veteran, the idea of killing anything or anyone, even if it is out of necessity, disgusts me. the gun REALLY IS the tool of my 'trade' even if I hate the idea of using it for that purpose. So why do I HAVE guns in my home if I hate killing? Just because I'm a "Liberal" doesn't mean I'm a fucking idiot.

The first known use of "guns" came from Mongol era China, they were basically one-round mini-cannons on sticks and their accuracy was absolute shit, but when you DID get hit with a round from one of these things... "didn't know what hit him" was an understatement, because they were known to hit with enough force to pulp internal organs. They helped the Chinese win back their country from the Mongols ruling over them.

That's probably the only conceivable upside to war: Innovation and invention. You'd be hard-pressed to walk around your house and not find a single item that WASN'T designed or perfected with warfare in mind, right down to canned goods and even computers themselves: All of which were made to keep Soldiers alive long enough to kill more of the enemy in greater numbers, to one effect or another.

So how do we stop "the Bad Guys" while letting law abiding citizens keep the arms they have every right to own and use responsibly?

People have probably touched on this in the past, but I can't put the blame on any one thing for the epidemic of violence America seems to have. I certainly can't blame the guns themselves, that makes no sense because it implies that an inanimate object is somehow capable of acting out it's purpose autonomously: No gun will start shooting just by looking at it, SOMEONE has to pick it up and squeeze the trigger.

Even if you only could ever buy 10-round magazines in the US, a motivated psychopath need only utilize a well placed strip of duct-tape to turn two 10-round mags into a double-sided 20-round magazine: Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold figured it out and did exactly that to more effectively slaughter their classmates, but somehow that entire disaster was all Eminem's fucking fault.

A truly determined murderer will find whatever way s/he can to kill whoever s/he wants regardless of what means s/he has at his/her disposal, even if they don't have access to guns: Iraqi civilians were still allowed to carry their own firearms such as pistols, rifles and even AK-47s, yet they still preferred making bombs because they killed the most people very quickly, and explosives were cheaper than ammunition in that part of the world.

So is this a problem for the mental health system to fix? In my opinion, I think largely that it is. And there are people who are honestly trying: Dr Lynne Fenton was the psychiatrist who was overseeing James Holmes' care before his rampage in Aurora, she notified local authorities about his dangerous behavior but instead of handling it like they could have, they sat on their asses instead. The shrink did her job, so did the University Police, so who dropped THAT ball?

And there are ALREADY laws on the books that make background checks mandatory to buy guns from vendors, but who is responsible for enforcing those laws? And what can lawfully be down about private sales? I can't help but wonder what goes into an actual background check and who has access to that information, seriously: If I ever want to sell one of my guns in the future, I don't want to be held responsible for unknowingly selling it to another James Holmes. I'd like to do everything I reasonably can to prevent that from happening.

Mass violence is not a distinctly American nor a recent problem, take a trip to the Middle-East or Africa if you don't believe me.

Our Constitution never promised us a SAFE society, just a FREE one. I'm sorry, but that's just what it is. I have every right to own and use my AR-15 within the realm of the law, and I had no objection whatsoever to passing a background check in order to get it. Why would I ever use it? Where I'm at right now, probably won't have to: Not very practical for home-defense in an apartment complex, but John and I plan to buy our own home in the near future and we'd greatly prefer to live in a semi-rural area. Crime still happens in the boonies, that and we really REALLY want a plot of land big enough that we can have target-practice on our own property.

I do think that most people genuinely are good at heart and don't want to hurt each other, but I've also been around the block (and even the sand-box) enough times to know that dangerous people do exist.

Try as you may, you can't legislate away evil or crazy: Self defense IS a human right.

Oh Boy, Mud

I'm an unabashed jerk and I don't make excuses for it, I simply AM. I'm sorry if this bothers you or comes out wrong sometimes, but this has been an ongoing issue that despite my own best efforts I simply cannot change. Then again why do I want to modify any part of myself to make others happy at my own detriment? I'll be 32 years old very soon, I may act like I'm 16 at times but dammit I'm not going to start diminishing myself just because people think I'm heartless, big-headed or even (dramatic gasp) weird.

I have often considered the possibility that I may have Aspergers Syndrome... NEAT!

Recently I may have posted a tweet that offended some people close to me about Roger Ebert's cancer diagnosis the day before his death:

Arguably, that was probably a pretty heartless thing of me to say, as one person pointed out as quite hypocritical. Okay, I can see his point, but riddle me this: How many public figures apologized to Amy Winehouse's friends and family for all the coke-whore jokes? Name one news-anchor or comedian who DIDN'T have a laugh at Steve Irwin's (tragic but predictable) death even when his family were in tears over it, I bet my left fucking tit YOU CAN'T come up with one meager little name.

People suck, and I'm a person. Not a particularly nice one, either. I say things without thinking them through, it's just me: There is nothing I can do to fix this and don't think for a second that I haven't jammed my own foot in my mouth on many occasions in the past, I guess I've just gotten used to it.

I do this so often that I've even gone to brain-doctors and tried medication for it: Nope, turns out I'm just a straight-up bastard.

What is an apology, really? It's a hollow gesture, these days it is, to appease someone to avoid more arguments. This day and age people rarely mean what they say, how can I trust "I'm Sorry" out of anyone's mouth? I have a simple philosophy when it comes to apologizing for anything: 1 When you're wrong, do it right. 2 If you're right, don't do it at all. And 3 Only do it ONCE (for any given offense.)

1 If you fucked up, fix it an apologize in the most sincere way you can muster. Never apologize to someone on-the-fly, it comes off as fake.

2 Think about the situation before you say or do anything, what if someone is upset over something that's out of your control? At that point, how is that your problem? "I'm sorry" "For what?" "It's raining" No, it's no fun because of the rain but it's in no way your fucking fault. And maybe the other person upset with you really is just an uptight asshole, in which case...

3 Never, not under any circumstances, should you EVER apologize for the same thing on multiple, public OR private, occasions (unless you've broken the law and got arrested, in which case see how far apologizing gets you) If you find yourself in a position where someone keeps dancing proverbial circles around you or your 'offense' because they're just so butt-hurt about it, obviously nothing you say will ever appease or satisfy them. If you can afford to, I recommend cutting them out of your life altogether: Who wants to be around someone like that?

When you get right down to it, people can be downright mean. Welcome to Earth, motherfucker.

But on that note, I am going to apologize to Mr Ebert's family and friends for the hash-tagged post:  I didn't know HE had already apologized to Ryan Dunn's family and friends, forgive me please.

But as for the easily-offended and their High-Horses, I ask you to consider this: What happens when you fall off that prancing sack of glue someday? You fall into the dark, thick stinky mud surrounding all the piles of shit you were just trotting circles around.


When that happens, and mark my words it will, I'll be waiting in that same mud to bury you in it.


None of you are any better than I am. 

Always A Reason

News-Flash: The military has had an ongoing problem with handling cases of rape. There have been no shortage of policies, power-point presentations and not-so-clever acronyms thrown at Soldiers over the last several decades regarding reporting , I guess in the eyes of military leadership this is how they solve problems: Make them watch a slide-show and make them carry a stupid little card with them everywhere. At present, if a Soldier (male or female) is raped or harassed it is typically handled through their Chain of Command. Depending on what measures the victim wants to take (Restricted vs. Unrestricted Reporting) their Commanding Officer is supposed to have the final say.

There is a huge problem with this: About 9 times out of 10 the perp is someone the victim knows, usually via said Chain of Command.
 

I didn't want to be gender specific here, I understand that men are often victims as well and they often have more difficulties finding help after such an ordeal that female victims. REGARDLESS of who it was or what organs they were born with, raping a fellow Soldier, or even considering doing so, is un-fucking-acceptable and individuals who do so don't deserve to wear the uniform.

But something I've noticed over the last few years of my military career is a disturbing trend of what I can only describe as "Blame-Game Burn-Out" due to Ad Nauseam rehashes and repeats of power-point slides, briefings, counseling sessions... there are some units where these take place so frequently that Soldiers often fall asleep halfway through these presentations.

Whenever there was an incident on my post, there was a mandatory gathering of each Company and we were all given the same lecture by an NCO: No means no, you could get kicked out of the Army, blah blah blah obviously they still aren't getting the message because Soldiers just keep raping each other.

These days our military seems to be spending A LOT of time and effort putting digi-camo Band-Aids over self-inflicted bullet-wounds. 

We can't even defend ourselves from OURSELVES! How the bloody grunge-fuck are we supposed to defend our Country if we can't get our own shit together? The Army is drowning in ad-hoc policy and outdated paperwork and insists on solving the problem by tying the boulders of "tradition" around their own ankles. Yeah, you guys have fun with that, say 'hi' to Cthulu for me.

Obviously, this issue is too serious to be trusted with the Chain of Command. There have even been incidents of brazen silencing of victims by their own so-called 'Leadership' by just dismissing them as "oh the bitch is nuts." Someone obviously hasn't been carrying their card around, maybe they need a power-point slideshow to remind them. PLEASE!

I have another idea: Instead of relying on possibly biased and burned-out commanders to babysit their own Soldiers, someone forms independent units and organizations to investigate and prosecute suspects? There's no middle-management, no more "Bros Before Ho's, even if he's a piece of shit" an outside entity is called and they handle it like the crime scene it fucking is.

And if you honestly think this is all just a matter of 'getting attention' or crucifying one of your buddies because 'she doesn't like him,' have you ever stopped and considered the possibility that maybe there might be a very good reason WHY that female Soldier 'just doesn't like' your bestest-buddy ol-pal?

If you honestly think anyone deserves that or was "asking for it," you clearly cannot be trusted with an Automatic Weapon and a uniform. 

Hang it up, give it back and report to your nearest prison cell ASAP: Male or female, you are part of the problem. 

April Fools!

I couldn't find a rubber face-hugger in time, I'm afraid this is the best April Fools prank I could come up with so far this year:

I'm about to get flooded with some very confused (and possibly a few congratulatory) personal messages from friends and family. I assure you, no alcohol was involved. 

I know I HAVE a Bible, where the fuck did I put it?